Choose Better

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern”

- Dr. Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross

In life, we are presented with many challenges and mishaps. We miss the bus we aim for; we don’t get the promotion we so deserve; we have a falling out with a friend; we have a headache; we have a heart attack;, we lose a loved one; we get challenged on our delivery at work; our loved one disappoints us; we fall; we fail.

Every challenge that comes our way demands a reaction. We are neurologically programmed to produce a fight or flight or freeze reaction to the situation. One way or another, in vast majority of the cases, we adapt. Some of these challenges are forgotten instantly, while others leave all kinds of scars.

Regardless of the outcome, the challenge changes us... But in what direction?

Transformation is what we choose to do with the change, beyond the initial reaction and adaptation. It is to look at the blow right on its face and say: "Okay, it has been tough and I am going to use that tough to elevate myself". Transformation is a mindful, intentional response to the trigger, rather than a reaction. It is choosing how that trigger can serve as a stepping stone in our journey towards our authentically best self, our dreams and goals.

Change is inevitable. We change every day, with every experience. When life challenges us, we either take what has been dealt to us and allow it to make us a better person, or we allow it to change us for the worse. Falls, breaks, challenges, tragedies toughen you up, people say. You become stronger, more solid. Becoming tougher, stronger does not necessarily lead to a 'better' you, however. A fulfilled, purposeful, joyful life is attained by softening -not hardening- of the personality, the soul and the heart, towards ourselves, towards others, and also towards our misfortunes. In this sense, becoming stronger or acquiring thicker skin, as a result of life's challenges can be a misleading development goal.

Commitment to our lifelong transformation inspires us to choose to ‘get better’, rather than to ‘get bitter’, in every step of the journey, even when life has been brutal. World is full of people who have not only survived unthinkable tragedies, but they have become better people -more authentic, grateful, fulfilled, purposeful, fluid, passionate, compassionate, committed, resilient, and positive- because of those tragedies. They have intentionally chosen to get better. World is also full of people who have become more resentful, dull, negative, rigid, uncompassionate, and distrustful after life's setbacks. The choice does not belong to fate. It belongs to us.

Choose better over bitter, even when life gives you lemons. Better over bitter, come rain or shine. Better over bitter, come tragedy or miracle. Better over bitter, high water or hell. Let life's lemons be your ingredients towards your authentically best self. Choose better. Life is Bru-tiful.